


Love Isn't Easy - The Arcana (Muriel)

by GarnetSeren



Series: Love Isn't Easy - Otome Collection [3]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bathing/Washing, Developing Friendships, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Getting Together, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Male-Female Friendship, Romantic Friendship, Strangers to Lovers, Tenderness, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23593789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarnetSeren/pseuds/GarnetSeren
Summary: Back in the forest when he'd needed help, Muriel had never imagined Inanna would bring THEM to his aid. He'd done everything he could to keep his distance, because even before the Red Plague there'd never been a reason to get too close, not considering what Lucio had forced him to become, and not when Asra had already managed to sweep them off their feet. However as days turned into weeks then into months, Muriel realised more and more that despite his fear... despite every ordeal they went through... it was worth it to have them in his life. Because regardless of how he'd tried to push them away for years, Muriel couldn't deny that they'd come to mean everything to him.*A collection of interconnected, chronological Muriel related one-shots*
Relationships: Apprentice/Asra/Muriel (The Arcana), Apprentice/Muriel (The Arcana), Muriel (The Arcana)/Reader, Muriel (The Arcana)/You
Series: Love Isn't Easy - Otome Collection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636357
Comments: 10
Kudos: 149





	1. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muriel's heart raced as their hands gently removed the fur cloak from around his shoulders. When Inanna had raced off, he'd been certain the wolf would bring Asra back with her, so he'd never imagined it would be THEM who'd come to his aid. He'd done everything he could to keep his distance, because even before the Red Plague, there'd never been a reason to get too close, no matter how often they'd tried to befriend him; not considering what Lucio had forced him to become, and not when Asra had already managed to sweep them off their feet. But as they gently cupped his cheek to wipe the blood off his face, he came to the startling realisation that he wanted them to remember him. He didn't want to be another forgot memory to them, not any more.

Muriel's heart raced as their hands gently removed the fur cloak from around his shoulders. When Inanna had raced off, he'd been certain the wolf would bring Asra back with her, he'd never imagined it would be _them_ who'd come to his aid. He'd done everything he could to keep his distance as much as he could in the three years since Asra had brought them back. Granted, he'd never had too much to do with them before... well, before. There'd never seemed to be reason to get too close, no matter how often they'd tried to befriend him. Not considering what Lucio had forced him to become, and not when Asra had already managed to sweep them off their feet. So he'd kept his distance as best he could, as much as sharing a bond with Asra allowed. Because whenever he looked at them, Muriel felt a mix of emotions; and seeing the two magicians together had only ever made that worse. So he'd kept his distance then and he'd kept his distance since, only venturing to see them when Asra was off on one of his journeys, to keep an eye on them like the magician always asked. He really should have remembered Asra was away again, since he'd only gone to check on them yesterday, but the pain had made his head fuzzy, or maybe that was the blood loss. The wound was certainly bleeding more than Muriel had expected, so he'd been forced to reluctantly agree to letting them help him. He'd fully intended to send them away the moment the forest was safe again, but then Inanna had butted her snout in and made it blatantly clear she wanted him to let them help. Still, Muriel planned to make them leave as soon as possible, until he saw the guilt in their eyes when they admitted to not remembering him... to admitting they had no memories from before three years ago. Of course he'd already known that, just like he knew _them_ , but he hadn't been prepared to be confronted with their feelings over it. He hadn't been prepared for them to murmur:

“I _know_ I know you.” Frustration and sorrow obvious in their voice.

It had given him pause. He'd never expected someone to sound so upset that they couldn't remember him. So he relented and allowed them to guide him to a stool, allowed them to remove his cloak even as his heart hammered frantically. Even though he expected it, Muriel flinched at their touch despite it still being the gentlest thing he'd ever experienced; their touch even softer than Asra's. He adamantly stared just over their shoulder, trying to ignore their sympathetic gaze, because he knew that the moment they'd washed the blood away and saw his scars, that their gaze would change. They'd see the monster he really was. But that look never came. Instead they smiled at him softly, their eyes uncomfortably tender as they continued to clean up the blood.

“... you're being nice to me. Why?” he asked, gruffly.

They frowned briefly before shrugging, smiling at him gently. “Why shouldn't I be?”

When their magic washed over him, healing the gaping wound in his side, Muriel shut his eyes in case they noticed his reaction; tears welled unbidden and his breath shuddered. Their magic still felt familiar even after all the years, and he fought to stop his own meagre magic from responding as he always had. But despite his wariness, the creeping worry and dread, Muriel couldn't deny that is was... _nice_ , to feel their magic again. It was soothing. Where Asra's magic was cool like a forest stream, theirs was warm like sunshine like it always had been. He hadn't thought he missed anything from his life before, until he felt their magic flow through him again. He sucked in a shaky breath, remembering why he'd avoided them for so long. It felt too nice, too comforting. It felt like coming home, just like Asra's magic did. But caring for one wayward magician had always been fraught enough, and Muriel had always tried his best to keep his distance. But when he glanced up at them through the curtain of his hair, he knew it was as futile now has it had been then. He did care. He always had. And as they gently cupped his cheek to wipe the blood off his face, he came to the startling realisation that he'd _have_ to give them a pouch, because despite the lengths he'd gone to the past three years, he couldn't deny that he wanted them to remember him. He didn't want to be another forgot memory to them, not any more.


	2. Reunion

“I bet you're wondering why I'm here, huh?”  
  
You tilted your head to the side, taking in the white haired magician. In all honesty, Asra's sudden appearance at Muriel's hut... especially when you thought he was still travelling... was probably the least surprising thing to have happened to you lately. Because honestly, there was a _lot_ of competition. Being invited to the palace by the Countess herself had been a surprise. Being tasked with finding Doctor Devorak had been a surprise. Coming face to face with a wolf dripping with blood in the middle of your shop had been a surprise. Meeting Muriel... cleaning and treating his wounds, passing out from sheer exhaustion, then waking up and not remembering him... had been a surprise. Muriel's revelation about the spell he was under was a surprise. The fact that he _knew_ you... knew about your missing memories... was a surprise. Him gifting you the pouch of myrrh so you wouldn't forget him again was a surprise. Muriel knowing that Doctor Devorak couldn't have committed Lucio's murder was a surprise. So Asra suddenly showing up at the towering man's hut, after the wolf had _obviously_ been looking for him, was barely even registering on your 'surprise scale'. So you just shared a look with Muriel... one that was met surprisingly by a barely there quirk of his lips, before you turned to meet Asra's amethyst gaze and gave him a weary smile.  
  
“You know Muriel,” you stated, before inclining your head towards the wolf. “Inanna made that abundantly clear."

The towering man made a sound that could have been a laugh, and you couldn't help smirking as you stood up to properly greet Asra with a hug. He held you tightly, and you could feel the slight tremble of his hands against your back, making you realise how scared he'd been that the blood in the shop had been yours.

“I'm fine. I'm safe. Muriel's fine. He's safe,” you soothed, stepping back to give him a comforting smile. “We're both alright.”

“For now,” Muriel added, ominously.

“Yeah... for now,” you sighed, retaking your seat at the rough hewn table, before looking up at Asra. “There's quite a bit to tell you.”


	3. Strangers No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muriel had to duck his head to fit through what you'd always considered a very average sized doorway, before almost taking root in the very middle of the shop. Taking pity on him, you lightly took hold of his large hand, to lead him up the stairs to the little studio apartment you shared with Asra. Once there, Muriel opted to cram himself on a too small stool and you smiled to yourself, as you bustled around the tiny kitchenette making tea. A calm hush fell on the room as you drank in a comfortable silence. Unable to help it, you breathed a sigh that was part weary but also part relief, as the soothing smell of the tea mixed with the Muriel's scent of myrrh. Despite everything that was going on, holed up in your little apartment above your beloved shop, you couldn't resist the feeling of contentment that washed you; glad of Muriel's quiet but surprisingly comforting company.

Your heart was hammering, adrenaline still coursing through your veins from the aborted mugging and the strange woman you'd just encountered; not that you weren't thankful that she'd stepped in, since your knowledge of combat was mostly limited to defensive skills, but you didn't like the way she'd spoken to and about Muriel. Even after only knowing him a day... that you could remember... you already had a large soft spot for the towering scar covered man, a soft spot that already started to form even before Asra asked for you to look out for Muriel. So as you turned to the behemoth of a man, your heart ached at seeing him visibly trembling from the confrontation.

“Are you alright?” you asked, gently.

He seemed to startle at your voice, swallowing audibly and pointedly avoiding eye contact. “I... I'm fine.”

Considering his hands were still shaking, you didn't believe him, which made you suggest: “Let's go somewhere quieter.”

Muriel blinked at you, obviously surprised. “What?”

“That was a lot,” you stated, not wanting to make him self-conscious. “I know a quiet place we can take a break.”

“I'm fine,” he insisted, before nearly jumping out of his skin when someone dropped what sounded like a crate somewhere up the street.

Cautiously, you lay a gentle hand carefully on his muscular arm. “Come on. We both need a break.”

Slowly, hesitantly, Muriel nodded and let you guide him away from the alleys. Your hand slowly slipped down to hold his, and although you couldn't be certain, you could have sworn he ever so slightly squeezed your fingers as you walked. In a surprisingly comfortable silence, you led the way to the shop you shared with Asra, though Muriel almost baulked when he realised where you were.

“This is your house,” he stated, his green eyes wide with shock.

You fought the urge to look at him curiously; he was Asra's friend, so surely he must have been to the shop before. However, you didn't want him to feel any more uncomfortable than he already was so you simply replied: “Yes.”

A faint blush dusted his cheeks, a stark contrast to his black stubble. “Why are we at your house?”

“Because it's quiet,” you explained, patiently. “Come in, I'll make you some tea.”

“You'd... let me in?” Muriel all but whispered, surprise colouring his tone.

“You're always welcome here,” you told him, sincerely.

His blush intensified. “I'll... try not to break anything.”

You chuckled lightly. “Faust has been known to break things on purpose whenever Asra annoys her, so don't worry about it.”

Muriel had to duck his head to fit through what you'd always considered a very average sized doorway, before almost taking root in the very middle of the shop; presumably because it was far enough away from the glass display cases, and the tightly packed shelves that were filled with bottles and jars. It was equal parts endearing and heartbreaking to see, and you couldn't help lightly taking hold of his large hand again, before leading him up the stairs to the little studio apartment you shared with Asra. Instead of taking a seat on the over stuffed bed, that also served as a couch with it's mountain of pillows, Muriel opted to cram himself on the small stool that was mostly reserved as a napping spot for Asra's snake familiar. He looked so uncomfortable, but you guessed he had his own reasons for not wanting to sit on the bed.

“I've... never been up here before,” he stated, quietly.

As he spoke, the fire salamander crawled out of it's log pile house in the stove, flicking a curious tongue in Muriel's direction; who startled for a moment, before looking at the lizard like amphibian with gentle eyes. It was clear from the way he stretched out a single finger to the creature, that he had a real soft spot for animals.

“Careful,” you warned, unable to control your smile. “He sometimes spits sparks when he snores.”

“I don't mind,” Muriel assured, his gaze briefly flicking up to you.

Your smile grew as you bustled around the tiny kitchenette getting the teapot ready, before gently scooping the salamander up from Muriel's knee; cooing and stroking it until you'd coaxed it to heat the tea to the perfect temperature. You gave it's head a thank you scratch, before carefully offering it back to Muriel who let it curl up to nap on his thigh. Once the salamander was settled, you passed him a mug of the fragrant calming tea, your fingertips grazing his scarred hands as you gave him the drink. He blushed as he stared at where your hands touched, obviously surprised at the barely there contact, before he quickly pulled the mug to his chest. You gave him an understanding smile, all too aware of how wary Muriel had been of your touch less than a day ago.

“Do you want milk or sugar?” you asked.

“Why would I want that?” he asked, quietly.

“Because you could be weird like Asra and think tea needs it,” you teased, sinking down onto a plush pillow near him.

A calm hush fell on the room as you drank your tea in a comfortable silence. Unable to help it, you breathed a sigh that was part weary but also part relief, as the soothing scent of the tea mixed with the Muriel's scent of myrrh and washed over you. Holed up in your little apartment above your beloved shop, you couldn't resist the feeling of contentment that flooded you. Even Muriel seemed to be relaxing... regardless of his too small stool... the tension in his shoulders was certainly bleeding away, though his green eyes were still piercing when he looked at you. He parted his lips as if to say something, but then shook his head and left whatever it was unsaid. It had you burning with curiosity, but as much as you wanted to know what the quiet man almost said, you decided to remain silent; not wanting to pressure Muriel into something he didn't want, especially when you could appreciate he was already out of his comfort zone by just coming to the city.

“You're... you're not what I expected,” he said at last.

When you turned your attention directly to him, Muriel flushed under your gaze. Still, you couldn't help asking: “What do you mean?”

“Nothing. Just... most people talk too much,” he stated, before offering you what might have passed for a smile. “You don't.”

You returned his smile with a soft one of your own. You were so tempted to make a teasing remark, to ask if 'most people' meant Asra, but you didn't want to break the quiet accord you'd seemed to have naturally reached together. So as the comfortable silence settled back around you, only occasionally interrupted from the little snorts the salamander made as it slept, you were content to just sit back and sip your tea; glad of Muriel's quiet but surprisingly comforting company.


	4. Warrior's Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morga's words hung heavy in the air, and your body still throbbed from the fight with Vulgora, but it was the look in Muriel's green eyes that held your attention. He was so obviously conflicted that it almost hurt your heart to look at him. You knew he didn't want to be on this journey, he didn't want to be tracking the creature Lucio had become, but Muriel had also made it clear he didn't want to leave you either. He'd even been hurt trying to protect you from Vulgora; there was still blood dripping from his temple. So no matter what Morga said, you knew Muriel was not a coward. You were proud of him, you just wished you could make him see himself they way you saw him. Strong and capable. You wished you could make him understand that his soft heart wasn't a weakness, but a treasure. You wished Muriel understood how much you cared, and that you weren't going anywhere.

Morga's words to Muriel hung heavy in the air, and your body still throbbed from the fight with Vulgora, but it was the look in the towering man's green eyes that held your attention. He was so obviously conflicted that it almost hurt your heart to look at him. He was undeniably scared of Lucio... unsurprisingly... but when Morga had accused Muriel of planning to run away, to abandon you, he'd held his ground. You knew he didn't want to be on this journey, he didn't want to be tracking the creature Lucio had become, but Muriel was making it clear he didn't want to leave you either. He'd even been hurt trying to protect you from Vulgora; there was still blood dripping from his temple. So no matter what Morga said, you knew Muriel was not a coward. You honestly hated the way the warrior talked to him, but every time you'd been on the verge of saying something, your towering friend would briefly catch your eye then shake his head. It hurt not being able to stand up for him, it hurt not having the privacy to offer him any comfort. There was nothing wrong with not wanting to fight, and although you didn't know what had happened in Muriel's past to make him the way he was, you knew in your bones that it had been bad... and that bastard Lucio had been responsible for it. You could appreciate the behemoth's reluctance to confront his old tormentor, and you couldn't fault Muriel for his soft heart. It wasn't a weakness. You just wished you could do more to protect him, something more tangible than occasionally holding his hand or throwing up a barrier when needed.

“What about you? Are you ready to fight?” Morga asked, addressing you.

“Yes!”

You didn't even need to think about your reply. Vulgora would have killed you if the silver haired warrior hadn't shown up, and as much as you disliked Morga's harsh nature... especially when it was directed at Muriel... you couldn't deny she was an excellent hunter. If there was a chance she could teach you something that would keep you and Muriel safe, you would jump at the chance without hesitation; you already felt awful he'd been hurt shielding you, and you wouldn't forgive yourself if something more serious happened to him, and you doubted Asra would forgive you either.

“Good. At least one of you has a warrior's heart,” Morga complimented.

“You can't!” Muriel protested, his green eyes wide and his fingers twitching, as if he wanted to reach for you. “You saw how outmatched we were. If you fight, you'll die.”

Morga scoffed. “So you'd rather give up? Run away? A coward's actions.”

“... I'll be a coward, if it means they don't die,” he defended, his gaze flicking to you.

You sighed his name, before reaching out to gently hold one of his large hands in both of yours. “There's no shame in not wanting to fight, I respect your decision. You're not a coward. But I can't _not_ do this. If I don't fight you could die, and that's not something I could live with. You got hurt protecting me...”

“And you were nearly hurt defending me,” Muriel interrupted.

You gave a nod of acknowledgement, since there was no point deny it. “We look after each other.”

“How can I keep you safe?” he asked, a shocking hint of desperation creeping into his usually quiet voice. “I don't know how to protect anyone. I just know how to kill!”

Despite being surprised by his outburst, you refused to let go of his hand; in fact you squeezed tighter as you searched his expressive eyes. “What do you mean?”

“You haven't told them?” Morga asked, almost incredulously.

“How do _you_ know?” Muriel asked, resigned.

“The rest of the world seems to have forgotten... but I haven't. I know what my son was up to,” she stated, before sighing. “I will go hunt for dinner. Have your answer by the time I return, Muriel.”

The huntress left without another word, disappearing into the forest and leaving you two alone. When you turned your attention back to your friend, you saw unshed tears glistening in Muriel's eyes; your heart ached for him. You'd never seen Muriel so shaken, so open and vulnerable. Unable to help it, you lightly ran your thumb over the knuckles of his hand that you still hadn't released.

“What did you mean, Muriel?” you whispered, hesitantly.

“You'll leave if you know,” he replied, staring at your joined hands.

“I've lost count of the time you've asked me to leave...” you teased, gently.

“I... don't... actually want you to,” Muriel admitted, sounding almost pained.

Without even thinking, you raised his large hand to your lips and a kiss to the back of it. “I'm here. With you. I'm not leaving.”

He sat down on a nearby tree stump, hard, as if your admission had knocked the wind out of him. He let go of your hand to tangle his fingers in the unruly mass of his jaw length hair, and no thought went into kneeling down beside him, wanting to offer him comfort and it was a good thing you did, since you had to lean in to hear when he mumbled:

“The coliseum in the middle of the city. I used to fight there... in Lucio's name. I was his executioner. Whoever entered the arena with me... didn't leave. They called me the Scourge of the South.”

At his pained admission all of Muriel's scars, his wariness of being touched, his reluctance to fight, it all made perfect sense. Your heart lurched at the thought of it, at the implications. You felt sick at the very idea of what that bastard Lucio must have made the gentle giant do. However, although you were already certain of the answer, you had to ask:

“Did you want to do it?”

“No!” he almost shouted, staring at you with a mixture of shock and worry in his expressive eyes. “I thought I didn't have a choice. He said he'd hurt Asra if I didn't work for him. So I hurt everyone else to keep him safe.”

You desperately wanted to reach out and wrap your arms around the behemoth of a man, but Muriel always seemed so overwhelmed with even to smallest gesture of comfort that you didn't want to make him uncomfortable, especially when it was painfully obvious it had hurt him to make his confession. Instead, you carefully laced your fingers with his again, wanting him to realise you weren't going anywhere but not wanting to push him any further out of his comfort zone, and ducked your head until you caught his eye.

“You protected Asra the best you could... _thank you_ ,” you murmured, sincerely.

Muriel gave a non-committal hum.

“None of it was your fault, Muriel,” you insisted, rubbing your thumb across his knuckles.

“I don't want to kill again,” he stated, quiet yet determined.

“I'd never ask you to, I promise,” you assured, squeezing his fingers. “I wouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to do.”

Muriel heaved a shuddering sigh, his warm breath skittering over your face when he finally looked at you. For a long weighted moment he simply regarded you, before slowly nodding, a blush colouring his cheeks when he admitted: “... I know you wouldn't.”

“I'm not going anywhere, Muriel,” you reminded him, raising his hand to press a soft kiss to his knuckles. “And I believe in you.”


	5. Fight or Flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'd known as soon as Morga had tossed you the daggers it was going to end badly, because although you weren't opposed to sparring with Muriel, you knew blades would be triggering for him. However, you hadn't expected him to bolt at the mere thought of potentially hurting you. Thankfully you found his Muriel soon enough, huddled by a stream and your heart was still pounding as you approached. Without a word, you knelt down beside him, not wanting him to be alone. Whatever demons were running rampant in his mind, you didn't want Muriel to face them alone. You cared about him too much. So despite being unsure what you could do to help, you settled down beside him and prepared to wait until he let you in.

You found Muriel huddled by a stream, Inanna pacing worriedly in front of him. Your heart was still pounding as you approached; from sprinting across the pitch black tundra and the fear he'd be hurt as he ran in fear. You'd known as soon as Morga had tossed you the daggers it was going to end badly, because although you weren't opposed to sparring with Muriel... despite his vastly towering height and stronger build... you knew blades would be triggering for him. However, you hadn't expected him to bolt at the mere thought of _potentially_ hurting you. In all honesty, you were humbled that he cared so much for you, and you'd started to hurry after him even before Morga had called to you, telling you to bring Muriel back safe. You hadn't needed the instruction but it made you realise the huntress cared more than she let on, and it made the anger you felt towards her dissipate slightly. However, right then, your attention was solely focused on Muriel and the way he was trying to hunching into a ball.

“Go away,” he muttered, barely glancing at you.

Without a word, you knelt down beside him; bathing him in the soft glow from your conjured light as you instinctively reached out to lightly touch his arm.

“D-don't,” he stuttered.

Immediately you retracted your hand, not wanting to do anything that would trigger Muriel further, regardless of how much it hurt to see him suffering and not be able to comfort your friend. So instead of touching him you settled yourself more comfortably beside Muriel, preparing yourself for a long wait. However, far sooner than you expected, he mumbled something so quiet you had to lean in to hear it:

“I don't want to hurt you,” he whispered, unshed tears glistening in his green eyes when he glanced at you.

“I know. I don't want to hurt you either,” you replied, gently.

“It's not about me. It's never... I don't matter,” he stated, quietly.

“You matter to me,” you murmured, before turning to face him fully. “I trust you, Muriel.”

“I don't trust myself.” His voice cracked as he spoke, tears rolling silently down his cheeks.

Your heart broke for him. “Then let me prove it to you. Let me prove you won't hurt me.”

“How? By fighting? I know how that goes,” he replied, bitterly. “You, bloody at my feet. Just like everyone else.”

More silent tears rolled down his cheeks, and you balled your hands into fists in an effort to respect Muriel's wishes and not reach for him; which was getting harder by the minute.

“You have to let me leave!” he sobbed, quietly. “You're too... you're too important to hurt!”

He lurched to his feet and you automatically followed, your heart pounding with the realisation that Muriel was about to bolt. You couldn't let him. Not because of the quest you were on, but because he _needed_ to understand how much you trusted him; you just hoped Muriel could forgive you crossing his boundaries when you wrapped your hand around his large wrist, because you knew with startling clarity that there was a very real possibility that if you let him go now, that he'd go back to the forest. Alone. Hurting. That he'd shut you out again. That he might even shut out Asra. You couldn't let that happen... you cared about him too much to let that happen. So acting on instinct alone, you curled your free hand into the fur of his cloak and pulled him down towards you, whilst pushing up on your toes, so your lips could meet his in a chaste but sweet kiss. In all honesty, you expected Muriel to push you away, though to your delighted surprise that didn't happen. He tensed for a moment, obviously surprised, before he slightly relaxed; his hands even moved to curl hesitantly around your shoulders.

“Wh...what are you doing?” he whispered, sounding shocked and awed.

“Kissing you,” you replied, trying not to smile.

“Why?”

“Because I wanted you to know how much I care about you... about how much I trust you,” you explained, patiently.

“I... it was... um...”

“Should I try again?” you asked, completely seriously and unabashed.

Muriel flushed several different shades of red, which was genuinely fascinating to watch. But although your heart was hammering, and your gut coiling itself into knots worrying he was about to reject you, you remained outwardly calm as you waited for his reply. Kissing him had been instinctual on your part, but going forward, you _needed_ to know that Muriel wanted it to. So much had been taken away from him, he'd been hurt so badly... physically and mentally... that you didn't want to do anything that he didn't completely consent to.

“I... it wouldn't be... I mean...” He took a quick breath before blurting out: “Itwouldn'tbetheworsethinginthewouldifyoudid.”

“What was that?” you asked, having genuinely missed what he'd said.

“I said... it wouldn't be the worst thing,” Muriel replied, obviously embarrassed.

Smiling softly, you rested one hand on his bicep, whilst the other cradled his cheek. You leant in slowly, giving Muriel plenty of time to pull away if he wanted. But to your surprise... and relief... he met you half way; his lips gentle against yours as he tentatively returned your kiss. The welcoming smell of myrrh surrounded you, and his stubble was prickly under your palm as you pressed another feather light kiss to his unresisting lips. Then another. Everything about Muriel was warm and comforting, as he settled his large hands ever so carefully on your back, but then there was a sudden clink and a lout thud. At the same time bright lights burst in the sky overhead, and you both pulled back to look up at the spectacle Asra had once mentioned and called the Aurora. But then a shocked gasp escaped you the moment you noticed that Muriel's chains and collar were gone, laying in a tangled heap on the dusty ground. His green eyes stared at his old bindings for a long silent moment, before regarding you with a look of awe.

“Thank you,” he whispered, sounding a little bewildered.

You shook your head, offering him a small smile. “I didn't do anything.”

“You did,” he insisted, quietly. “You didn't let me run away... but you're also patient.”

“I don't mind waiting,” you replied, honestly.

“You'll be waiting a long time. I don't... I don't know how to do... this,” he admitted, blushing furiously.

“Do what?”

“Any of it!” he stated, unable to meet your eyes. “The last ten _years_ I just stayed alone in my cabin. No one expect anything. No one asked. It was peaceful.”

You were just about to apologise, to explain you'd never expected anything from him, when Muriel heaved a sigh and looked you straight in the eye.

“Then you showed up,” he continued, his voice wavering ever so slightly “And I realised... there could be more. Maybe... Asra always said I'd like you.”

“I like you too,” you admitted gently, as you cradled his scarred yet handsome face in your hands. “I'm glad I met you again. I'm glad you let me remember you.”

Muriel gave a soft, barely there smile as he hesitantly leant into your touch; his eyes slipping closed in an obvious show of trust and contentment. “I... am too.”


	6. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been weeks since they'd left with Muriel on the quest Nadia had sent the pair on, and Asra had been worried sick about them both the entire time; made a hundred times worse, when their horses had returned without them. But finally he'd been able to find their magical signatures... theirs like sunshine, whilst Muriel's felt like dappled shade in the forest... and they'd been able to talk. Though what caught Asra's attention the most, was the way his oldest friend had stolen fleeting glances at them, whenever they'd not been looking. It had given Asra pause. There'd been a time that he thought they could have all been together, but it seemed the time for that was past, not that he held any ill will towards either of them. Because if he had to step aside and watch them with someone else, out of all the people it could be, Asra was happy it was Muriel.

It had been weeks since they'd left with Muriel on the quest Nadia had sent the pair on, and Asra had been worried sick about them the entire time; made a hundred times worse when their horses had returned without them. But finally he'd been able to find both their magical signatures... theirs like sunshine whilst Muriel's felt like dappled shade in the forest... and they'd been able to talk. All five of them. Asra wasn't sure what to make of how familiar Ilya seemed to be with them, or the relieved smile they'd given the doctor after seeing him. But that was something to mull over another time; seeing the way his oldest friend had stolen fleeting glances at them was far more interesting, but he waited until the man departed before broaching the subject with them.

“You and Muriel, huh?” he asked, smiling mischievously.

If he had to step aside and watch them with someone else, out of all the people it could be, Asra was happy it was Muriel. After everything that life had thrown at the man, after Lucio and the Coliseum, he deserved to be happy. Of course it still hurt; Asra loved them both implicitly, and he'd tried for years to get Muriel to give them a chance, so that maybe... just maybe... they could have all been together. But it seemed the time for that was past, not that he blamed either of them, especially after what he'd done... what they still didn't know. But then they tilted their head, distracting him with their cuteness, as they studied him through the river water.

“Yes... me and Muriel...”

Asra grinned and unable to help it, leant towards their reflection. “Really? Like, really really?”

“Well, sort of...” they replied, shrugging. “And I care for him.”

“Tell me everything,” he requested, before catching himself. “I mean you don't have to, but...”

They chuckled softly, giving him the same loving smile they always did... the one that made his heart beat frantically... before they recounted everything that happened; including a kiss. He actually gasped in shock at that revelation, amazed they'd managed to get Muriel to open up in such a short time, and clapped in genuine excitement. Asra had been telling his friend for years that he'd like them if he just gave them a chance, but considering the way Muriel had been looking at them, Asra realised that may not have been the problem. Maybe Muriel had liked them all a long, and he'd been too wrapped up in his own feelings for them to realise.

“I'm so proud of him... and you. When's the wedding?” he teased, trying to hide his growing melancholy thoughts.

“Tomorrow,” they retorted, glibly.

Unable to help it, Asra threw back his head and laughed. It hurt to know he'd have to step away from them now, that he wouldn't be able to enjoy simple pleasures like falling asleep holding them, but he was genuinely happy that two of the people he loved the most were finding happiness together. They deserved it. But then he noticed the peculiar way they were regarded him; partially like he was a complexed puzzle, but also like they were deliberating with themselves, and for one heart stopping moment he worried they weren't planning on returning to the shop they ran together.

“Asra...” they whispered, tentatively. “I... need you to know... Muriel isn't the only one I care for, and I get the impression it's the same for him.”

He couldn't have held back him smile, even if he'd tried. “Really?”

“I can't say for certain about Muriel, but I care about you both,” they stated, meeting his gaze without hesitation.

“I feel the same,” he assured, his smile softening into something tender.

They returned his smile with a gentle one of their own. “I think we should all talk, when we return.”

Asra wished they weren't separated by the miles, that he could just reach out and touch them, but he settled for resting his hand over his heart... the heart they shared... as he replied: “I'd like that.”


	7. Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muriel struggled with conversation at the best of times, but this was the last conversation he'd wanted to have. However, not only did they deserve to know the truth, lying to them would have only hurt them... and he never wanted to hurt them. He hated that he'd been forced to tell them, he felt guilty; as well as a flash of irritation towards Asra... anger even... because he really shouldn't be the one having this conversation with them. It should have been Asra's responsibility. And they certainly shouldn't be having to find out, because of something Lucio had said before he'd tried to killed them. Muriel stared into the campfire, trying not to grimace. This really wasn't a conversation he wanted to be having, he didn't even know all the details. But as he glanced at them again, Muriel knew he couldn't leave them without answers, even if what he could tell them was incomplete... he just hoped it would be better than knowing nothing at all. Because after everything they'd done for him, after how kind and patient they'd always been with him, Muriel didn't wanted them to feel alone. They deserved so much more than that, they were worth so much more than that; they were worth everything.

Muriel struggled with conversation at the best of times, but this was the last conversation he'd wanted to have; outside of anything regarding speaking to Lucio at any rate. Though there was no escaping the fact he was talking about _this_ , to _them_... when he'd said he didn't want to hurt them, he hadn't just meant physically, but lying to them would have also hurt them. They deserved the truth and he sat beside them silently, at a loss for how to comfort them but wanting to be close all the same. Though as he studied them from beneath his unbraided hair, he watched as the obvious shock on their face morphed into something that looked unexpectedly like acceptance.

“... oh. I guess that does explain things,” they murmured, staring into the embers of the campfire.

Of all the things Muriel had expected them to say, it wasn't that. They were so much more calm than he thought they'd be; they were certainly calmer than he would have been, than he was. Muriel hated that he'd been forced to tell them. He felt guilty, as well as a flash of irritation towards Asra, anger even, because he really shouldn't be the one having this conversation with them... it should have been Asra's responsibility... and they certainly shouldn't be having to find out because of something Lucio had said before he'd tried to killed them. Granted, Muriel knew it had been difficult for Asra, since the magician had spoken to him many times about their missing memories and the migraines they'd get whenever he'd tried to help them remember. But Asra had given up, and Muriel couldn't help thinking that had hurt them more than the magician wanted to admit. Because whilst Asra might have blinded himself to how scared the townsfolk had been that first year after their resurrection, Muriel hadn't. He'd taken it upon himself to follow them those first few months if they ever ventured out of the shop without Asra, just in case. He knew what it felt like to be feared, and he hadn't wanted them to face that alone... even if they never remembered him being there... and just like back then, Muriel didn't want them to feel alone in dealing with the thoughts Lucio had put in their heads, which is why he'd told them the truth.

“You're... taking this well,” Muriel said, cautiously.

“How else am I supposed to take it? No point denying it makes sense,” they said, glancing up from the flames. “How did Asra bring me back?”

Muriel grimaced and took to staring into the fire. This really wasn't a conversation he wanted to be having, he didn't even know all the details and the wave of anger he felt towards Asra washed over him again; it really should have been the magician explaining all of this. But as he glanced at them again, Muriel knew he couldn't leave them without answers, even if what he could tell them was incomplete, he just hoped it would be better than knowing nothing at all.

“It was... a spell. I don't really know the details. I just know he found a way.” Muriel sighed, shifting uncomfortably as he glanced at them again. “No point keeping anything from you. You died of the plague. I think you were trying to help cure it when you caught it.”

They huffed a very unexpected laugh, and even offered him a lopsided smile. “Well... at least I was trying to do some good before I died.”

Muriel hesitated, before laying a hand lightly on their shoulder. He really couldn't believe how... okay they were being about all this, and whilst he wasn't good with people, he had heard from Asra that shock sometimes made people go quiet, but they could still be scared and frightened just not showing it. So he worried they might be feeling that way, or maybe even trying to protect _him_ somehow and after everything they'd done for him, all the times they'd been there for him, Muriel wanted to return the favour.

“After it happened... Asra became frantic. I've never seen him that upset. He... changed,” he confided, his thumb mimicking the gentle strokes they often made over his scarred knuckles.

“Changed?”

He sighed. It was painful to remember, but they deserved to know what had happened. “He started talking about deals and demons and Arcana. I tried to warn him, but...” He trailed of, shaking his head sadly as he took a moment to collect himself. “He wasn't going to rest until he brought you back. Or died trying. He thought he'd find some answers in the palace. And... I guess he found them. Or... he found Lucio. There was this half-baked ritual. Lucio wanted to use it to give himself a new body. And Asra... he wanted to use it to bring you back. The only problem is... he dragged the rest of us into it too. All under the guise of Lucio's ritual.”

They reached for his free hand, both of theirs curling around his much larger one, and their eyes searched his... for what, Muriel wasn't sure... until their gaze fell back to the campfire that crackled cheerfully, ignorant of the fraught topic they were discussing.

“What was the ritual?” they asked, quietly.

“I don't really know the details,” he admitted. “I just know... everyone who participated would have a price to pay. A deal to make.”

“A deal... who were you dealing with?” they asked, glancing up at him, their eyes full of concern.

“... The Arcana. That's what the ritual was for. To summon us to their realms.”

The moment they pulled away from him, Muriel immediately worried he'd said or done something wrong, that maybe they'd finally realised he wasn't worth the time or effort they took with him. But they didn't move away, and instead pulled a tarot deck out of their pocket that Muriel immediately recognised as Asra's. It was... strange, seeing someone else handle the magician's cards, even them, but Muriel's limited magic could feel how the cards responded to theirs; as if the deck craved their warmth and kindness as much as he did. They didn't say anything for a long time, long enough that Muriel became aware of the wind picking up and the snow falling harder outside the cave they'd made camp in, just silently starring at the cards, almost like they were having a conversation.

“And Asra... he made a deal?” they asked, eventually. Their voice barely above a whisper.

Muriel sighed, quietly. “.... we all did. Lucio. Nadia. Asra. Julian... me.”

“Is that why...?”

He nodded, swallowing an unexpected lump in his throat. “... the ability to hide. To be forgotten.”

“What did you give up?” they asked, gently.

“...my fear. At the time I thought it was an easy trade. I didn't want my fear,” Muriel admitted, hanging his head in shame, though startled when they lightly touched his forearm.

“And now?”

“... I'm not sure it was a good trade at all.” he admitted, his voice rough with emotion. “It doesn't matter, anyway. You died... but you're here and you're... I like... I like that you're here. Who you are now is... f-fine. So...

They smiled at him warmly, before resting their head on his shoulder. “I like that I'm here too.”

Muriel caught their double meaning, and he could feel the blush rising to his cheeks. But just like it had so many times when talking to them, it felt like his voice was stuck in his throat. So he reached out to pat their hand instead of replying, just as clumsily as when he'd patted their shoulder before, but not as hesitantly. It was... nice, hearing that they wanted to be around him and although Muriel felt guilty because he knew Asra still loved them... not to mention the confused feelings he had for his friend, that he usually tried to ignore... it was also nice not having to hide the fact he cared about them now. Not that it wasn't still a daunting prospecting that often kept him awake at night, even when they were sleeping peacefully between him and Inanna, the three of them huddled for warmth. But it was nice... good even, to not have to hide it any more, even though he still didn't know how to express himself. Muriel liked having them close, and as the wind began to howl outside, sending a shiver rippling through his body despite the thick fur mantel he wore, he wanted to pull them even closer. Inanna whined, curling up as close to the fire as she could get, and even Morga's hawk looked unhappy as it settled down next to the wolf. Beside Muriel, they began to trembled as well, and he knew they were trying to hide how much the weather was affecting them.

“... you look cold,” he stated, noticing how they'd burrowed their nose into their cloak.

“Come warm me up?” they said, mischief clear in their eyes even in the campfire's flickering light.

“I... you...” he stammered, his gaze frantically flicking between them, the fire and Inanna.

They chuckled quietly, their gaze softening. “It's okay, you don't have to.”

As nice as it was knowing they'd never push him to do something he didn't want to do, the thing was that Muriel _did_ want to help keep them warm. He wanted to show them the same caring kindness they always gave him, even when they hadn't remembered him. So drumming up every ounce of courage he had, Muriel slowly wrapped his arms around their shoulders and pulled them into the folds of his cloak. They shuffled in his arms and for a moment Muriel worried he'd done something wrong, that they were trying to get away from him, before they unclasped their cloak and used their magic to drape it over the top of his, allowing them both to huddle under two layers of thick furs. It was kind and thoughtful and made his heart beat just a little faster, especially when they settle down in between his legs then, their back against his chest. But Muriel only hesitated a moment before he wrapped his arms back around them, and rested his chin on their shoulder.

“B-better?” he asked, nervously. Hoping he was doing it right.

“Much better,” they assured, their hands lightly stroking over his scarred forearms.

Muriel turned his head, daring to bury his face against the crook of their neck, unable to hold back the soft smile that pulled at his lips. But his heart was racing. The only person he'd ever held before was Asra and that had been years ago, when they'd been much younger; it had started when they were both children sleeping on the docks, and had ended the last night Asra had spent in the humble hut they'd once shared... the hut Muriel still called home... before he'd moved to live with them above their magic shop.

“I wonder if we'll make it back in time for the masquerade,” they mused, resting their head against his shoulder.

“Why? Do you... want to go?” he asked, hesitantly.

“Do you?”

He blushed at the implications. “I...ah... don't have anything to wear... and it's a lot of people...” He trailed off and buried his face in the crook of their neck, hiding his blush. “But if you went. I guess I.... wouldn't mind going with you. Maybe.”

“It's a date then.” They said it so casually, so easily, as if they didn't realise how it made his heart race.

“I... I mean...” Muriel stuttered. His heart was hammering, but he wrapped his arms tighter around them, trying to ground himself; breathing in the smell of wood smoke that mixed with the herbal, slightly floral scent that clung to their clothes. “S-sure. Okay. If that's what you want, it can be...” He swallowed thickly. “It can be a d-date.”

They tilted their head, and pressed a feather light kiss to his jaw. “If you hate it, we can leave... or you could leave me dramatically in the middle of the dance floor, if you'd prefer.”

“I have to dance?!” he asked, startled.

They chuckled but it was warm and affectionate, nothing like the cruel laughter that used to be directed at him, before they assured: “Only if you want to. I'm sure Asra or Julian would dance with me if you'd rather not, or maybe Portia if she isn't on duty.”

Before Muriel could say anything Inanna whined pitifully, interrupting his attempt to tell them he'd at least try, before she started trying to worm her way under the cloak as well. The hawk was also looking far too interested, and Muriel tightened his hold of them almost instinctively; as nerve-racking as it was, he liked having them so close. He wasn't quite ready to share, not even with Inanna.

“You have fur! And feathers! You're fine!” he protested.

But blatantly ignoring him, Inanna wiggled her way in and settled over their laps, with Jaeger not far behind; the hawk's feathers surprisingly soft, as it huddled up into their sides. Despite himself, Muriel had to admit it was actually rather nice, and as Inanna huffed softly, he understood what the wolf was saying. Right then, huddled in the cave out of the snow, it felt good that their tiny pack was expanding, no matter how frightening the prospect still was most of the time.

“... looks like we're trapped,” Muriel murmured, burying his face in the crook of their neck again, hoping to hide his small smile.

They huffed another laugh, but the affection was clear in their voice when they replied: “There's worse places to be.”


	8. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muriel's eyes studied you intently, even as he tentatively reached for the golden bottle you held, that he'd admitted to liking. You understood it had been hard for him to admit everything he had, you understood the amount of trust he was placing in you... how vulnerable he was making himself for you... and you understood he was nervous. You knew Muriel was far outside his comfort zone. So you whispered a simple request, asking if he'd allow you to wash his hair. His eyes widened in surprise, and he blushed furiously, but he nodded his agreement. Your heart was so full of love and pride for the towering man, and you hoped every gentle caress and soft kiss would help Muriel remember you'd never do anything to hurt him, that you'd do anything to ensure he remembered he was deserved love and kindness... that he'd remembered he was worth remembering.

The bathing chamber wasn't just a welcome reprieve from all the stress and travelling from the last few weeks, but beautiful as well. The large arched open window let the setting sun reflect on the crystalline water of the huge, sunken marble pool, and a balmy breeze that carried the scent of jasmine and honeysuckle sent ripples across the surface, making sparkles of warm sunlight dance around the room. You glanced at Muriel to gage his reaction, only to find him looking at you with his soulful green eyes regarding you with obvious worry. You reached for the behemoth of a man without thinking, setting your hand lightly on his forearm.

“Is everything okay?” you asked, smiling gently. “You're starring.”

Muriel cleared his throat, as a blush began to dust his cheeks. “...what if I look away, and something happens to you?”

Unable to help it, your smile became indulgent. “Do you... want to share the bath?”

Emotions warred within you as you asked, part hopeful but part cautious; because whilst you would have loved nothing more than the bathe with Muriel, you didn't want to make him uncomfortable. It had only been a few weeks since the first time you'd kissed, and although he was slowly opening up to gentle touch and physical affection, you knew he still struggled. So you weren't at all surprised when Muriel's eyes widen, and he took several steps back... almost instinctively. He held his hands up, to ward you off or placate you, you weren't sure. So regardless of how much you wanted to reach for him, to comfort and reassure him, you clasped your hands behind your back and waited.

“I...I...I mean, that's... I don't want to make you uncomfortable...” he stuttered, his blush growing.

“You could never make me uncomfortable, Muriel. Besides, I was the one who offered, but it's entirely up to you.”

For a long, drawn out moment he was frozen to the spot... out of nerves or surprise, you didn't know... his eyes were wide, and he swallowed audibly. But then Muriel nodded slowly, not quite meeting your eyes as he mumbled an apology and agreement. So after taking a tentative step forward that Muriel didn't retreat from, you slowly reached for his large hands, trying to exude a calming aura to reassure him as your thumbs stroked over his calloused knuckles. Smiling encouragingly, you guided him fully into the bathing chamber, the humid air settling over you both almost like a warm hug.

“You don't have to apologise, you're allowed to want things,” you reminded him, gently.

His eyes flicked to yours, but he didn't reply. You knew something was on his mind, but you trusted him to tell you once he was ready. You gave his hands a reassuring squeeze, pushed up on your toes to lightly press a kiss to his stubbled cheek, before undressing in silence; Muriel being an utter gentleman and turning his back to afford you some privacy. You slipped into the gossamer robe that had been left out on the vanity, before heading to the bath to test the temperature of the water, though just as you were going to step into the pool, Muriel finally broke the silence by quietly asking:

“Am I?”

“Are you what?”

As you spoke you glanced over your shoulder, only to be slightly caught off guard by how stunning Muriel looked in the sheer, forest green robe that was edged in bronze and gold thread, that must have been custom made for him considering his towering height and impressive muscles. But as he slumped down to sit at the edge of the bath, he somehow managed to look small as he practically curled in on himself. No thought went into crossing the short distance between you, and you sat down beside him, leaning into his side just enough to earn a faint smile.

“Allowed to want things,” he mumbled.

“Of course you are.”

“It's just... h-historically, that hasn't...” He paused to take a shuddering breath, obviously struggling to find the words. “I never... knew I wanted anything. Or never thought about it. Never asked. And you tell me I... I'm allowed, to want things. To ask for things. And I don't... I don't know how to do that.”

“It's just me and you here,” you urged, smiling encouragingly. “You can tell me what you want.”

You knew it had been hard for him to admit what he had, and you'd never been prouder of him; just a few weeks ago, he'd have given up or tried to push you away, possibly both. But even though his blush steadily grew darker, and even though he wouldn't meet your eye, he wasn't running or pushing you away. So as his breath shuddered, you telegraphed you movements as you slowly reached up to cup his stubbled cheek, before gently turning his handsome face towards you. For a long moment, you simply sat regarding each other, your thumb lightly caressing his cheekbone, but when his whole body began to tremble, you quietly broke the silence before it had the chance to get tense.

“You don't have to be embarrassed. Whatever you want Muriel, you can ask. This is you and me... just us. The very worst that could happen is I'll say no, but I doubt that there's much I'd deny you.”

He took another shuddering breath, and closed his eyes as if to steel himself. “O...okay. I w...want... to spend time with you. I want to be close, I want... I want to know you're safe. I want to be there. I want to protect you. I want...” He hung his head, almost as if he was ashamed to whisper: “I want you to protect me.”

“I want that too,” you murmured, your heart full with pride and racing with excitement.

“I know it's a lot to ask, I...” Muriel caught himself, obviously belatedly realising what you'd said. “What?”

A soft smile pulled at your lips as you leant forward, placing a feather-light kiss to the corner of his mouth, before you draped your arms around his broad shoulders. “I said I want that too. All of it.”

He sucked in a surprised breath and blinked several times, as if he couldn't believe what he'd heard, before he glanced away shyly. “You can have them.”

“So can you,” you stated, before turning your attention back to the water. “Should we bathe before this water gets too cold?”

“I'm used to cold baths,” Muriel replied, wryly.

You hummed an acknowledgement. “I'm not even surprised, but maybe we'll have to change that.”

Cupping his handsome face in your hands, you lightly kissed the tip of his nose before standing, and unable to help it, you pressed another soft kiss to his forehead before stepping into the pool. As you sunk down into the warm water, your eyes closed in bliss as it began to ease your aching muscles and washed off the dirt and grim from the last few weeks. Though you cracked your eyes open when you heard Muriel give a contented sigh as he joined you, and you smiled warmly when you noticed he'd managed to sink down to his chin.

“I... fit.”

You couldn't help the happy laugh that bubbled up at his obvious surprise, and you waded over to sit beside him on an inbuilt seat, before gently beginning to undo the braids Morga had previously weaved into his jaw length, brown locks. He closed his eyes as you worked, and your heart constricted at the level of trust Muriel afford you. You weren't sure what you'd done to earn it, but you'd never stop feeling honoured that he'd let you in. So you carded your fingers through his hair, helping to untangle the knots, then reached for a jug in order to wet his hair. You knelt on your seat then, turning to asses the assortment of colourful glass bottles that sat on a tray nearby, and popped the lids off a few until Muriel quietly announced:

“... I like that one.”

Muriel's eyes studied you intently, even as he tentatively reached out for the golden bottle that smelt like cedar and somehow rain; or more precisely, like the forest just after a thunderstorm. If you hadn't known about his past, you would have been offended by the almost wary way he regarded you, but you knew it wasn't personal. You understood the amount of trust Muriel was placing in you, and you understood he must be nervous. So you whispered a simple request, asking if he'd allow you to wash his hair. His eyes widened in surprise and his blush was back in full force, but he nodded his head and even decanted some of the liquid from the bottle he was holding into your cupped palms. Without needing to ask, Muriel leant forward for you, his head bowed so you could easily reach as you began to lather his hair. You scrubbed in gentle circles, your nails lightly scratching against his scalp which earned you a small smile as his eyes slipped closed. He practically melted into your touch; it was the most relaxed you'd ever seen him.

“I never thought things could be... easy,” Muriel murmured. “But with you... i...it's easier.”

“I'm glad,” you whispered, getting him to tilt his head back so you could rinse the suds out. “Can I wash your back?”

He sucked in a surprised breath, before slowly nodding. “Can... can I do the same... for you?”

“I'd like that,” you admitted, smiling gently.

In a comfortable silence you continued to bathe each other, and you couldn't help smiling at how much consideration Muriel put into picking a soap for you when you'd asked him to. He chose one that reminded you of the meadow in Summer time, and you hummed appreciatively as his large hands carefully massaged your scalp, before dipping beneath your robe to wash your shoulders and back. For someone so large, Muriel was unfailingly gentle, and the attention he gave you felt wonderful. But eventually you both had to reluctantly leave the bath, only stopping long enough to dry each others' hair before redressing in another set of robes. You gathered your dirty laundry and packs then made your way to your rooms, though when the pair of you reached your door, Muriel hesitated. Glancing up at him, you noticed his cheeks were flushed again and he was looking everywhere but at you.

“I... can I stay with you, tonight? I know we have our own rooms, we're not camping any more...” He trailed off and shook his head. “Never mind, I shouldn't have asked...”

Your hand caught his before he could even think to run. “Of course you can, Muriel”

In all honesty, you were relieved. The nights you'd spent alone in the palace had felt so strange, almost unnatural. In the three years you could remember before coming to work for Nadia, you'd shared a bed with Asra almost every night; his presence a comforting warmth against your back, or occasionally curled around you after a nightmare. Upon leaving Vesuvia, you'd slept next to Muriel... first for warmth, then for mutual comfort... and you liked his familiar scent of myrrh washing over you, you liked how you'd both progressed from sleeping back to back, to sleeping in some bizarre tangle of limbs, usually with Inanna sprawled over you both; and as if thinking her name had summoned the wolf, Inanna trotted along the corridor before helping you usher the towering man into your room without prompting. You bent down to scritch her ears in thanks once you'd set down your belongings, before joining Muriel where he'd settled on the edge of the bed. Exhaustion was practically radiating off him, and you couldn't help moving to drape your arms around his shoulders, giving him a loose hug.

“... we made it,” he said, quietly.

“Not alone,” you replied, just as gently.

“No... not alone... and how many more? Is it smart to be here?”

Knowing he needed to talk, you gave a hum of encouragement, before starting to carefully braid Muriel's hair in the style Morga had started.

“...who else will lose their life? Who else will Lucio take? I know... I know it wasn't my fault. Lucio would have gone after Morga no matter what. And Khamgalai... maybe she'd be alive, or maybe he would have gone to the graveyard and taken her heart anyway. But I just... how many _more_?” Muriel asked, sounding so tired, so hurt and lost.

“No more,” you replied, quiet but firm. “We won't lose anyone else.”

“How can you know that?”

You pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “I believe in us.”

Muriel looked up at you imploringly. “How can you... after everything? Our failures. How can you still believe?”

“Because I have to,” you explained, coaxing him to lay down with you. “We can't give up now, so I believe we can do this... and I believe in our friends.” You took one of his large hands in yours. “Lucio won't stop unless we make him, and I swear we will do it. Whatever it takes, Muriel. We'll keep fighting.”

“...only if you swear to survive it, too,” he said, his soulful gaze practically begging you to make it a promise.

You moved to lay his large hand over your heart, so he could feel it beat. “We'll _both_ survive this. We'll win.”

He nodded once, before slowly moving until his forehead rested against yours. “I believe you... I don't really know why.”

“I'm persuasive like that,” you teased, using your magic to pull the cover over you both.

Inanna gave a yap that sounded suspiciously like an agreement, before she jumped up and settled over both your legs. Muriel actually chuckled, even as he blushed, and his gaze was soft and gentle as her murmured:

“You are.”


	9. Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything had happened so fast... everything was a disaster... and you knew words weren't going to help the situation. Besides, despite the fact you were all at risk, you knew it was a lot of ask of Muriel; giving up his refuge to shelter them all, to give them sanctuary. There was no question it was a decision Muriel had to make on his own, but you raised your joint hands to your lips so you could press a kiss his knuckles. Silently offering him unwavering support, understanding how far this whole situation was pushing Muriel. Asra reached for his other hand, whilst Julian rested his on Muriel's bicep, before Faust settled across Muriel's broad shoulders in a serpentine hug. Letting him know that he was loved and supported, whatever his decision was in the end.

The din inside the ballroom was almost deafening. The peoples' fear was an almost tangible thing. Your heart raced, whilst your chest felt like it had been squeezed in a vice as you studied Lucio. But as he waved a dismissive hand and inexplicably sent red hot chains towards Nadia, you leapt into action almost instinctively; after everything that had happened, you refused to let harm come to anyone else you cared for. Your magic curled around your hands as you prepared a shield spell but before you could cast, Muriel was there towering in front of you, unflinchingly facing down Lucio. Even when the despicable chains latched onto his muscular arms... burning fabric and skin alike... Muriel didn't waver; just looked over his shoulder with a frantic look in his eye, desperately pleading with you to take Nadia and run. You glared at him, refusing to go. There was no way you would ever leave him.

“We fight!” you declared, knowing Nadia would have your back.

“No! You need to take Nadia and get out of here!” Muriel almost begged.

“I refuse to abandon my people again! That means you too, Muriel,” the countess stated, resolute.

The creature Lucio had become chuckled darkly as he tugged on the burning chains, making Muriel suck in a pained breath as he was forced to his knees. Bile threatened to rise in your throat, the heartache of watching him suffer combining with the stench of burning flesh to make your stomach roil. Without thinking, you rushed to his side along with Asra, who'd managed to fight his way through the frantic crowd to reach you. His hands settled on Muriel's shoulders, and you could feel the familiar cool prickle of his magic building in the air around you, as he began to cast a protection spell over your friend.

“Love! You have to break the chains,” Asra urged, a hint of desperation in his voice.

Without wasting another moment, you leapt forward with your hands out stretched. You hadn't a clue what type of magic you needed to call upon, but you knew with every fibre in your being that you weren't going to let that bastard hurt Muriel any more. So you grabbed the chains that had curled around his muscular arm with only the desperate need to free him running through your mind, before the cruel chains simply snapped under your touch, breaking as easily as paper decorations. Muriel just stared at you in shock as you and Asra helped him to his feet... each of you channelling healing magic to repair the wicked burns on his arms... but then he was back in motion; grabbing your hand and snatching a terrified Volta up under his other arm, whilst Asra pushed Nadia in front as all you began to run. Your small group pushed their way through the panicked crowd, though your heart sunk when more of the dreadful chains sprang up from the polished floor, barring the ornate ballroom doors and your escape. You frantically looked around for another exit, just as Asra shouted:

“The balcony!”

You elbowed your way through the screaming crowd, somehow finding Nadia's family in the hubbub and herding them in front of you as you ran full pelt to the glass door that Julian was valiantly trying to keep open. You could clearly see he was straining with the effort as he urged you all to hurry, though you didn't get a moment's reprieve when you reached the balcony since Asra suddenly instructed you all to jump. There was no time to think. You followed his instruction, planting your hand on the carved stone railing and vaulted over the balustrade along with everyone else. For a moment you were simply falling, but then you felt Asra's magic tingle over you and you understood his silent request. Somehow you managed to grab his hand, lending your power so he could gently float you all safely to the ground. But before anyone could rest, Julian and Muriel were ushering everyone through the ornate gardens... heading for the exit near Portia's cottage... whilst you and Asra manipulated the plants and manicured hedges to disguise your path, until you could finally stop and catch your breath.

“Well, that was possibly the worse party I've ever thrown,” Nadia declared, deadpan.

You tried your best to contain the smile that wanted to form at her dry joke, though the moment Julian took off his mask and caught your eye, you were left trying to disguise your laugh as a cough. Asra's amethyst eyes sparkled with barely repressed mirth as well once he discarded his mask, though Muriel just looked between the four of you like you'd lost your minds.

“Now's not really the time for jokes, we've got to keep moving,” he stated, solemnly.

“Of course, but where should we go? Where's safe?” Nadia asked.

No one said anything for a long drawn out moment, though Muriel looked down at you with utter resignation in his eyes. Your heart constricted at the sight, knowing you'd both come to the same conclusion but however obvious a solution it was, it wasn't your place to say. You wouldn't put Muriel in that situation. So you simply slipped your hand into his, silently letting him know you supported him whatever his decision.

“Damn it,” he grumbled.

“Ohhh...” Asra looked between the pair of you, obviously coming to the same understanding. “It could work, you know... the protections we've put up...”

Muriel gave a small grunt, as he resolutely stared at the grass, completely avoiding looking at either you or Asra.

“It'll be okay,” you soothed, running your thumb over his scarred knuckles.

“Erm.. am I missing something?” Julian asked, his hand landing comfortingly on your shoulder as he ducked his head to try catch Muriel's gaze.

“… my hut,” he stated through obviously clenched teeth, before his shoulders sagged in defeated as he glanced at you. “If it was just you... but all these people...”

You knew words weren't going to help the situation, and it was a decision Muriel had to make on his own, but you raised your joint hands to your lips so you could press a kiss his knuckles. On his other side, Asra reached for Muriel's free hand and gave it a squeeze whilst Faust took the opportunity to make herself know, by slithering out of a fold in Asra's costume before settling across Muriel's broad shoulders. Even Julian rested his freehand on Muriel's bicep, because despite not really understanding what was going on, he wanted to offer his support anyway; making the behemoth look up in surprise, and the two men quietly regarded each other silently until Muriel gave a weary sigh.

“Fine, my hut...” he stated, resigned. “But its only temporary, alright?”

Muriel stoically led the way through the outskirts of the palace gardens into the forest, and the further you went, the more the air cleared. You and Asra conjured small balls of light that illuminated the overgrown trails Muriel navigated with unsurprising ease; he knew the forest like the back of his hand, after all. You weren't sure how long you'd been walking, the fine silks of you masquerade costumes snagging on brambles and bushes, but eventually you arrived at the small clearing that housed Muriel's meagre hunt; the magic of the protection charms washing over you as everyone stepped over the boundary. Asra gave Muriel's shoulder a comforting squeeze, whilst you linked your arm with Julian's and steered him away from prodding one of the woven symbols, before you entered the rustic hut... leaving the Sarinava family and a few others taking refuge in the clearing, so you could discuss what needed to happen next. Surprisingly it was Volta that spoke up first, her voice timid as she peered at everyone from behind Muriel's leg, informing you all that she had information, though it was obvious she was scared to admit what she knew. But then shocking probably everyone but you, Muriel managed to patiently coax the sordid tale out of Volta. As you listened, he reached for you and you silently laced your fingers with his, giving his large hand a reassuring squeeze when you felt him begin to tremble.

“Can I see the cards, love?” Asra asked, breaking the silence that had followed Volta's story.

As you removed them from a pocket in your costume, you immediately noticed that they felt heavier, colder. It wasn't something you were used to. Normally the cards were warm and inviting. You didn't bother to try hide your worried look as you handed the deck to Asra, who frowned; obviously sensing the same imbalance and unease as you did. Without a word, he turned over the top card revealing one of the major arcana. _The devil_. You whispered the name, dread crawling up your spine as you realised in horror that Lucio had somehow merged himself with the devil. Your heart raced as you looked up to Muriel, who's normally tanned face looked white even in the dim light of the hut. But before anything could be said there was a loud knock on the door, and after sharing a concerned look with you and Asra, Julian moved to cautiously opened... only to be immediately tackled into a hug when Portia barrelled through the opened entranceway. The vivacious redhead turned to you next, throwing her arms around you in a tight embrace before she hurriedly hugged Nadia. However, as good as it was to see your friend unharmed, she hadn't come alone. A sizeable group of townsfolk where there, clutching small bags of supplies and possessions. There were several animals as well, dogs and cats mainly with a few sturdy ponies... and one very annoyed raven who flew straight at Julian and pecked his ear, before deciding to settle on your shoulder. You reached up absent-mindedly to stroke Malek's feathery head, whilst taking hold of Muriel's hand again; hoping to comfort him as he was forced to unexpectedly confront one of his greatest fears.

* * *

A week had passed since you'd managed to flee the palace and Lucio's clutches, and the crowd gathering in the protected clearing continued to grow. In that time, Muriel had gallantly given up his hut for Nadia to use as a command centre, meaning you had to pitch a makeshift tent at the edge of the clearing to share, whilst Asra and Julian had one close by. You were far enough away from the main group that it was just the four of you huddled around a campfire at night, with Nadia occasionally joining you whenever she needed a break from her family or the rigours of spearheading a growing resistance. It had been an... interesting time, and you knew Muriel was struggling to adapt with this way of life, not that you blamed him considering what a major upheaval it all was. However, you were concerned you hadn't seen him since breakfast, and after discovering that Asra and Julian hadn't seen Muriel either, you decided to go look for him; completely unsurprised when you eventually found him hunkered down in a patch where the wild chickens liked to scratch around, more or less hiding from the shanty town that had sprung up in his yard. Thankfully, his posture relaxed when he noticed it was you interrupting his solitude, and even offered you a tiny smile as you sat down beside him, before you rested your head on his shoulder.

“We should get some alone time,” you announced, keeping your tone soft.

“It's not really alone time if we're together,” Muriel replied.

You glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow at the teasing almost everyone else would have mistaken for him being literal. Honestly, you adored his dry sense of humour that surfaced every so often... though you liked the shy smile he graced you with even more, as he slowly stood up then offered his hand to you. Ever since the masquerade, Muriel had been reaching for you more and without hesitation, as if the indulgent bath and the conversation you'd had there had finally freed him from some of his reservation. You noticed he'd been slowly opening to others too, letting Asra back in whilst getting to know Julian, and even though it was obvious Muriel still had same concerns about Nadia, he was making an effort with her and a few of her sisters as well. It was amazing to see Muriel come out of his shell so much, especially given the trying situation you were in and you were so very proud. You couldn't help smiling up at him as you walked... until you were suddenly knocked over by something large and furry, startling a breathless laugh out of you when the beast began licking your face with slobbery kisses.

“Nana! We talked about this!” Muriel gasped, blushing slightly.

You couldn't help continuing to chuckle even as you pushed the heavy lump off, you loved the silly wolf almost as much as you loved Muriel, so you didn't really mind that Inanna had ended up covering you in mud. Again. However, it seem Muriel had more to say on the matter, since it was obvious the two were carrying on an unheard conversation; you weren't exactly sure how their bond worked, but you supposed it probably worked similar to how you and Asra communicated with Faust. However, when Inanna started to yip at you excitedly, you couldn't resist mimicking her... as you'd done several times when Muriel hadn't been with you to witness you being an idiot. But the wolf always seemed highly amused at your antics, wriggling gleefully and playfully headbutting your legs whenever you tried to imitate her wolf calls. This time was no different, except Muriel got to witness it for once, and you couldn't help grinning when he began to laugh. The sound was warm and comforting, making you chuckle as he curled an arm around your shoulders, and leant down to press a light kiss to your cheek.

“That was cute,” he admitted, blushing.

You walked on in a comfortable silence after that, Muriel wrapping the end of his cloak around you to stave off the chill when a cool breeze made you shiver unexpectedly. Inanna kept pace beside you, occasionally nosing your hand that wasn't reaching up to clasp Muriel's that still rested on your shoulder. It was a pleasant walk, with only the chittering of woodland animals and your footsteps crunching fallen leaves to disturb the silence; at least until you reached the clearing where Asra had buried the Heart of the Forest for Muriel. Amazingly, a sapling had already begun to grow over the grave, whilst a variety of flora and an abundance of magic seemed to be thriving in the now shockingly tranquil space.

“It's recovering,” he whispered, awe.

“It's beautiful,” you murmured, before Inanna growled her agreement.

Muriel's green eyes were warm as he smiled at you gently. “… thank you, I think I needed this.”

“There's no one I'd rather be with,” you assured, reaching up to cup his stubbled cheek.

To your delighted surprise, he leant down and brushed his lips over yours in a feather-light kiss that left you smiling. A giddy feeling bloomed in your chest, because even though Muriel had started to reach for you... seeking you out for comfort without second guessing himself... until today he'd never seemed comfortable leaning in for a kiss. You were immensely proud of him, so before he could pull away, you flashed him a pleased smile then gently sunk your fingers into his jaw-length hair, before carefully pulling him back to you. Slowly, you coaxed his tongue into a languid dance with yours, tasting the smokey tea Asra liked to brew and inhaling the scent of woodsmoke that clung to his clothes, as Muriel wrapped his muscular arms around your waist. He tentatively pulled you closer, and for once you simply let yourself slip away into the moment. Content with your stolen moment of peace.


	10. Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With tomorrow's mission looming over you, it was hard to make small talk around the campfire, so you called it a night far earlier than usual and headed to the tent you shared with Muriel. He wasn't far behind, and you flashed him a small smile as you settled down on the mound of furs and pillows that made your makeshift bed. He joined you a moment later, sitting close enough that you could rest your head on his shoulder, and your smile grew as Muriel reached out to rest his large hand over your much smaller one without hesitation. However, you couldn't help remembering that it could be the last night you ever got to share with the Muriel, and your heart ached at the thought. So you glanced up at him, trying to gage what his reaction would be, before you suggested making the most of the only night still guaranteed to you.

With tomorrow's mission looming over you, it was hard to make small talk around the campfire with Julian and Asra. So as soon as you'd finished the stew the doctor had kindly made the four of you for dinner, you bid them an early good night; kicking off your boots and removing your cloak the moment you were inside your canvas tent. You weren't particularly surprised when Muriel followed you, because despite the fact they were getting on better now, he still tired of Julian's endless talking rather quickly. So you flashed him a small smile as you settled down on the strange array of rustic furs and sumptuous silk pillows that now made up your shared bed, and watched how Muriel followed your lead by removing his own boots and cloak, before sitting beside you. He was so close that you rested your head on his shoulder, and your smile widened when he didn't startle at the contact. You were so proud of the progress he'd made, especially when he reached out to rest his large hand over your much smaller one without hesitation. However, you couldn't help thinking that this might be the last night you ever got to share with the wonderful man, and your heart ached at the thought.

“Should we make the most of tonight?” you suggested, gently.

“That's... I mean...”

You glanced up and saw a very visible blush suddenly flushing Muriel's cheeks, and his eyes were wide with shock as he met your gaze, before he took to looking anywhere but at you. You couldn't help frowning, worried you'd overstepped and made him uncomfortable, so you squeezed his fingers in reassurance. An apology was on the tip of your tongue, guilt settling like a lead weight in your stomach... guilt that only grew when he swallowed audibly and took a shuddering breath, before he raised his warm green eyes to look at you again. Though for the first time, there wasn't the usual gentle affection you felt under Muriel's gaze, the look he gave you was something far more intense and it set your heart pounding.

“When I was fighting in the Coliseum... I used to feel this way before every fight,” he admitted, quietly. “Ready for the next one to be my last. I didn't even care about what happened to me."

The silence that followed sounded almost deafening in your ears, but you knew Muriel, you knew what his silences meant. So you raised your joint hands to your lips, kissing his scarred knuckles in a wordless show of support as you waited for him to find his voice again.

“It's different now,” he said, eventually. “Because this time, I care. I care about you. I... I don't want anything bad to happen to you. And maybe... I don't want to die, either. Not if it means I can't be around you any more. I don't want to make the most of tonight, I want to make the most tonight and tomorrow too. And the day after that.”

“I want that too,” you assured, smiling gently

Muriel's blush deepened to a vivid red, that flushed to the tip of his ears. “That's.... good.”

You chuckled, softly. “Good?”

“W...well its not bad! It... you're... it's good we're on the same page, is all!” he mumbled, clearly embarrassed. “Whatever. I'm not used to all this talking. You know that.”

“I think you're doing just fine,” you replied, rising onto your knees to kiss his cheek.

“It's just... I'm not used to wanting things,” Muriel admitted, hesitantly. “All I ever used to want was peace and quiet. Now... one night isn't enough to fit it all in.”

You tried to suppress a grin, knowing his list probably wasn't nearly as risqué as he'd just made it sound. “Then we'll just make our way down the list, one thing at a time.”

“... what about what you want?” Muriel asked, his thumb lightly stroking the back of your hand.

“I just want you.”

Muriel sucked in a surprised breath, his green eyes wide with shock before his gaze was searching your face. “Is... it okay? If I ki...kiss...”

Leaning forward, you closed the distance between you; a flash of guilt returning when he jumped as your lips press to his, and even though you kept the kiss light, you could practically feel the shiver that ran down his spine. But then Muriel's strong arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, before he gave you the most breathtaking kiss you could ever remember. He dipped you backwards, his muscular arms keeping you from falling, and you sunk your fingers into his soft hair whilst coaxing his tongue to dance with yours. It started slowly at first, tender and exploring but quickly became frantic and passionate, as Muriel gently lowered you onto your back. He followed you down to the soft furs, bracing himself on his forearms above you whilst you poured all your love and affection into the kiss. When you finally parted to breath, Muriel's eyes were wide and his lips slightly parted as he starred down at you, almost as if in wonder. But then he smiled... no, grinned... before pressing another lingering kiss to your unresisting lips.

“Could we... keep doing this?” he asked shyly, resting his forehead gently against your.

You smiled at him warmly, reaching up to tenderly caress his cheek. “Whatever you want.”

He blushed again, though offered you a bashful smile. “Is... is it okay? I just... I just want to kiss you tonight.”

“It's perfect. _You're_ perfect. And you can kiss me whenever you want,” you assured, leaning up to affectionately bump your nose against his. “I'm yours.”


	11. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You barely managed to hide your smile by burying your face in the fur of Muriel's cloak, your shoulders shaking ever so slightly as you tried to resist the urge to laugh giddily. The hug he'd pulled you into in front of your friends had already been unexpected, and Muriel being completely unashamed about publically showing physical affection was even more of a surprise. You couldn't help grinning, happy and amazed at just how much his confidence was growing, so you embraced him fiercely as he held you tighter. You were just so damn proud of him.

Panting hard after running through the warped city streets, you struggled to catch your breath as Julian slammed the door shut behind you all. You lay a hand over your chest, trying to calm your racing heart whilst you glanced around the tiny storage room, that Asra was also eyeing with obvious interest. Volta was huddled in a corner out of the way, whilst Muriel's large frame hoovered over you for a moment, before he unexpectedly pulled you into tight embrace. You smiled as you wrapped your arms around as much of him as you could, happily sinking into his solid form as he carefully leant against you.

“Um... should we leave?” Julian suddenly asked. “I feel like we should leave...”

“We're hugging, do you have a problem with that?”

You barely managed to hide your smirk by burying your face in the fur of Muriel's cloak, your shoulders shaking ever so slightly as you tried to resist the urge to laugh at his deadpan comment. You couldn't believe how much Muriel's confidence had grown in just the last week... never mind how much he'd changed since you'd become reacquainted... you were so proud of him. Even when you'd first come back to Vesuvia from the South, there'd was no chance that Muriel would have been confident enough to just initiate a hug, let alone sass someone about it; even if it was done in such a deadpan way that you doubted Julian actually realised he was being sassed at all. However, when you'd managed to school your features to be somewhat neutral, you pulled back and caught Asra's eye across the room, who seemed partly shocked and partly delighted at Muriel's words.

“Well... um... no,” Julian spluttered, his cheeks flushing pink before he recovered his usual roguish grin. “Just feeling a little left out.”

Huffing a laugh, you spared a moment to press a soft kiss to Muriel's cheek... making _him_ blush... before you turned to Julian and pulled your friend into a warm hug. The doctor tensed for a moment, obviously surprised, before practically melting into you. A moment later, you felt a tug at the end of your cloak and you looked down to find Volta smiling up at you timidly. Honestly, you really didn't mind the strange little woman, she was odd but nice enough, so you unwound an arm from Julian's waist to drape around Volta's shoulders; pulling her into the hug. Not long after, Asra walked over and wrapped his arms securely around both you and Julian, and you pressed your forehead to his, smiling softly before he glanced at Muriel.

“Are you joining us?”

“I'm no good at this,” the towering man grumbled.

“Don't sell yourself shot, Muriel. You're too tall for that,” Asra quipped in reply.

You huffed another laugh whilst stepping slightly away from the two men... your arm still loosely around Volta's shoulders... as you made room for Muriel to join the impromptu group hug. He hesitated for a moment, his green eyes darting between you and Asra, before he sighed and stepped forward. You grinned at how resigned he was, though nestled into his side as his muscular arm wrapped around you, and shot a small smile at Asra who was pressed to Muriel's other side.

“This is nice,” Julian grinned, looking between you all.

Muriel gave a grunt that _might_ have been agreement, before he stated: “This is tolerable.”


	12. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silently, you watched as Muriel paced around the clearing, a look of worry clouding his handsome face. With the revelations of the day along with tomorrow's battle looming over you, it wasn't unreasonable that he would look so pensive, but you knew Muriel... you knew this wasn't about something obvious. So you called his name before stepping closer, wanting to offer whatever comfort you could, until he turned to you, a beautiful red bloom unexpectedly cradled in his large hand and a look in his expressive green eyes that stole your breath away.

The revelations of the day slowly began to sink in... the time you'd spent in the magic realm after the fight with Vulgora, the fact you'd been gone a whole week and not a few hours like you'd believed, the state of the Vesuvia, Lucio's army... as Muriel guided you away from the campfire you'd been sat around drinking with Julian and Nazali, his large hand a warm but gentle weight on your lower back as you walked towards the edge of the clearing.

“There's.... something I wanted to talk to you about. If.... if you don't mind?” he murmured, not quite looking at you.

“Of course,” you smiled, reaching up to lightly stroke his stubbled cheek. “I always have time for you.”

Muriel sighed in obvious relief, a small smile curling the corners of his mouth as he shyly reach to entwine his hand with yours. With your fingers laced together, you headed deeper into the eerily quiet forest until you reached a familiar clearing; one where magic was abundant and painting the normally subdued woodland in fantastic colours and dazzling flowers. Just like every time you revisited the area, you couldn't help looking around in wonder, though the feeling of Muriel's hand slowly sliding away from yours brought you back to the present. Silently, you watched as he paced around the clearing, a look of worry clouding his handsome face. You called his name, but Muriel just shook his head as he began to pick some of the vibrant flowers that were inexplicably blooming up the side of a tree trunk, though whether he was stalling for time or just collecting his thoughts, you didn't know.

“Muriel, what's wrong?” you asked gently, laying a hand on his shoulder.

There was a drawn out moment where he didn't reply, but when he finally turned back to face you, a blush was already starting to paint his cheeks, even as he shakily reached out to tuck a beautiful red bloom behind your ear. You offered him a warm smile, despite the confusion you felt as he shuffled his feet. For such a quiet man, Muriel had always had loud body language and you knew he had something he wanted to say but was afraid to. As always, you were happy to give him time to speak his mind at his own pace, but you were still surprised when he suddenly blurted out:

“I love you.”

You blinked in surprise, utterly dumbstruck for a moment until you noticed Muriel's blush had depended. After growing so close to him, you could tell it was taking everything he had not to run and hide after his declaration. So you reached up, gently cupping his handsome face before tilting his head down so you could rest your forehead against his.

“I love you too.”

He sucked in a surprised breath, clearly stunned. “You... what?”

“I love you, Muriel.”

He looked so shocked, like he'd psyched himself to confess but hadn't believed you could feel the same, so you reached up to tuck some of his hair behind his ear as you gave him a reassuring smile.

“You do...?” he whispered, shyly.

“Of course I do,” you assured.

“... really? Are you sure?” he asked, his eyes searching your face.

It hurt that such a wonderfully sweet and generous man was so shocked that you returned his feelings, that your heart hurt for him. You knew it was nothing personal, you knew after the heartbreaking life he'd lived that Muriel struggled to believe he was allowed to be happy... that he was allowed kindness and love and people to rely on... so you cupped his face, your thumbs lightly stroking his cheekbones.

“Can I just kiss you already?”

“Y-you... I mean... I.... uh...”

Muriel's blush deepened as he trailed off, though he nodded his head before leaning down to meet you half way. His warm lips pressed chastely to yours, soft and lingering until you gently pressed to deepen the kiss. He readily obliged, his muscular arms wrapping securely around you as his tongue tentatively danced with yours. You could feel the pleasant scratch of his stubble against your palms, taste the hint of the salty bitters you'd shared with Julian and Nazali not long ago, and smelt the smoke of the campfires that clung to your clothes before Muriel unexpectedly picked you clear off your feet. You wrapped your legs around his waist instinctively, only breaking the kiss when the need to breath grew too persistent to ignore, and you pressed a several kisses along his stubbled jaw before Muriel gently set you back down on your feet; his large hands carefully smoothing out the rumples in your clothes.

“... thank you,” he murmured, tentatively taking hold of your hand.

“What for?”

“... letting me love you,” he replied, shyly.

You couldn't help smiling as you pushed up on your toes and pressed a gentle kiss to his unresisting lips. “I feel exactly the same way, never doubt that.”


	13. Antics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last three days had been a blur, but the refugees' defiant jubilation bolstered your own spirits. You were ready for what the next day would bring, but that didn't stop you from wanting to steal a few quiet moments alone with Muriel before you rushed headlong into madness once again. However, a bright eyed and flush cheeked Asra came bounding towards you both like an enthusiastic puppy; the smile on his face promising that he was up to something, and that he was taking you and Muriel along for the ride.

The last three days had been a blur. From meeting Lucio at the Lazaret to parley, and Muriel's genius plan to challenge the count-turned-devil to a tournament of games instead of a head-on battle, to the excited anticipation that filled the forest camp after hearing the news, and the subsequent feast that had sprung up. After living under a cloud of fear and impending doom for so long, the refugees' defiant jubilation and utter determination that working together could outwit the devil, bolstered your own spirits. You believed in the people of Vesuvia and you believed in those you loved, though no-one more so than the behemoth of a man who sat beside you, his arm boldly wrapped around your waist for all to see, as you shared a plate of pasta. You were proud of Muriel for so many things, which you were about to tell him, before a bright eyed and flush cheeked Asra came bounding towards you both like an enthusiastic puppy; Faust happily swaying on the magician's shoulder.

“Have _I_ got a surprise for _you_ ,” Asra declared, smiling widely.

“You've had too many salty bitters,” Muriel stated, deadpan.

“Or just _enough_ ,” the magician retorted, his amethyst gaze flicking to you. “You're supposed to ask what sort of surprise. Go on... ask.”

“Okay, what sort?” you obliged, smiling indulgently.

However, the way he'd looked at you had left a ball of worry coiling in your gut. Even though you'd spoken briefly through the pond whilst you and Muriel were hunting Lucio, there hadn't really been time for the three of you... or maybe four if you took into account how Asra and Julian acted around each other... to sit down and actually discuss what you meant to each other. Normally you were too busy planning how to stop Lucio for it to worry you, but during the quiet moments when Asra's amethyst gaze would linger on you a little too long, you'd remember there was so much that was going unsaid.

“I can't tell you, or it wouldn't be much of a surprise,” Asra replied cheekily, swaying on the spot.

Unable to help it, you rolled your eyes affectionately whilst Muriel huffed a laugh at the magician's drunken antics, before Asra suddenly decided to sprawl across both your laps in dramatic fashion. Muriel tensed for a moment in surprise before relaxing again, whilst you were so used to having your personal space invaded, that you simply began to card your fingers through Asra's fluffy white hair; his eyes slipping closed as he practically melted into your touch.

“You know...” he murmured. “If you'd asked me a year ago about the two of you together... I'd have said I shipped it.”

You glanced at Muriel in surprise, finding the ex-gladiator giving you a startled look, before he patted Asra's shoulder somewhat awkwardly. The magician opened his eyes slowly, before giving you both a sad smile that pulled at your heart. Though as much as you wanted to talk to him, to finally have the conversation that needed to happen, your friend was far too into his cups to have a serious discussion. You'd all need a clear head for what needed to be said.

“Didn't you have a surprise?” you asked instead.

“Oh I did, didn't I?” Asra replied, brightening immediately.

Without warning he rolled off your laps, unceremoniously landing on the dusty ground at your feet. Muriel immediately offered Asra his hand, but the magician had already sprung to his feet and begun trotting off deeper into the forest; obvious expecting you both to follow. You shared a bewildered look with Muriel, though a small smile still tugged at your lips at the magician's antics. It had been a _long_ time since you'd had to deal with a drunk Asra.

“Guess we better make sure he doesn't fall in a hole or something,” Muriel stated, deadpan.

“And here I thought it was Julian's job to get stumbling drunk and make a fool out of himself,” you teased, as you began to follow Asra's nonsensical path through the twilight forest.


End file.
